Lower Your Expectations

This post might come as a surprise to you.  After all, here is the woman who is always spouting off ways to reach your goals, suddenly telling you to lower your expectations.  Don't the two contradict each other?  I say no.  Here's why:

Sometimes in goal setting, there is too much going on at one time.  You might know this as multitasking.  And studies are showing that multitasking doesn't work so well.  If you are trying to do everything at once, it's hard to do any one thing well.  You might halfway finish a bunch of things, but they're still only halfway finished, which is not really finished at all.

Since becoming a mom, I have resigned myself to the fact of life that I'm not going to accomplish the same amount of stuff that I used to be able to in a day.  My typical day goes something like this: wake up, feed baby, get ready for work, work, pick up baby, feed baby, put baby down for nap, shovel lunch while baby is sleeping, feed baby, put baby down for afternoon nap, shower, feed baby, make dinner, entertain baby, feed baby, get baby ready for bed, finish whatever I can once baby goes down for the night.  Right now, "baby" rules my to do list.  He comes first.  And that's ok.  But somewhere in that time frame,  I have to do other things like fold laundry, wrap Christmas gifts, and of course, empty the dishwasher.

Enter my new motto: "Lower Your Expectations".  Yes, I still have goals that I want to accomplish.  But, I am choosing to pare down my to-do list to one or two things that I can get done in a day.  The rest will have to wait for now.

As a result of this new motto, I am still accomplishing things, but at a slower pace while caring for my son full time.  And I feel great about that because I am still finishing my to-do list by the end of the day, but it's just smaller.

Sometimes in our lives, we will simply have to lower our expectations of what we can get done in twenty-four hours.  You may not be taking care of an infant, but maybe you have aging parents to look after.  Maybe you're facing an illness that zaps you of your energy.  Or maybe, you are dealing with none of those things, but simply need to slow down and savor the season.

Do me a favor.  Cut your to-do list down this week.  Even if it's just two items: what can you stand to let go of?  What can you move to next week?  With the time you save, spend it loving on the people in your life.  Drive around just for the sake of looking at Christmas lights in your neighborhood (this is a very relaxing practice for me!).  And then, do the things on your to-do list that are left and feel proud of yourself for still accomplishing your goals, but truly taking the time to slow down.  You and I will all be happier for it!  Yes, I give you permission to lower your expectations!

Something to add to your to-do list: enjoying the holiday lights!  Especially if you had to put them up at your house!

End of Year Habit Challenge Update

Well, it's been a while since I've posted, so I decided to give you an update on my last post.  Last time, I challenged anyone who wanted to join me to replace one bad habit with one good habit for the rest of the year.  Even though I didn't have any takers, it did not deter me from working on my plan.  My bad habit to drop was after-dinner snacking and I wanted to replace it with a bedtime routine with my son.

As life goes, I got sick a week ago.  Up to that point, I was making good on my bedtime routine and doing a great job of not snacking after dinner.  But then when I got sick, I really didn't feel like eating, so snacking wasn't a problem.  However, my son's bedtime routine went out the window since Momma was collapsing into bed every night as early as possible!

Now that I'm feeling better, I plan on reinstating the bedtime routine.  The nights I did have one with my son, we enjoyed some awesome bonding time.  He would snuggle up against me in our comfy glider and I would choose a short book or two to read.  Landon really enjoys being read to and I hope it's a love that lasts as he grows up.

On a positive note, as a result of not snacking (and being sick), I have dropped four pounds this month and the jeans that I was wearing well at the beginning of the month are now almost falling off of me!  Something is working!  I'm going to keep on working my plan and dust myself off when I fail and try again.  It's not the failures that count.  It's the number of times we keep going after we fail that bring the reward!

End of Year Habit Challenge

Can you believe that the end of the year is so close?  It really hit me today when I started listening to Holiday music in my classroom.  Before we know it, the midnight countdown will begin for 2014.  Many people might consider the next month and half to be a time to get relaxed on goal setting and have another slice of pumpkin pie.  But not you and me.  Not these GMG's!  This is the perfect time to take the End of the Year Habit Challenge. If you're just the least bit curious on how to "Carpe Diem" for the rest of 2013, read on...

I've seen different numbers on how many days it takes to establish a habit.  Some say 21 days.  Some say 28 or 30.  Regardless, we're going to use the last 49 days in 2013 to strengthen one habit.  Just one is all it takes to establish some great momentum for the upcoming year.  You can so do this!

Whenever you drop a bad habit, you will always replace it with something else whether that be a better habit, or another bad habit.  Time is a vacuum and whenever you have extra time, you are going to fill it with something.  So this is the challenge:

In the next 49 days, replace one bad habit with one positive habit.

That's it!  It's not too complicated that you can't accomplish it within November and December.  And by January, your old bad habit will be history and your good habit will be firmly established!  How's that for a win-win situation?

I wouldn't challenge you to do something without taking it on myself.  Here's what I am going to do.  A bad habit I have is snacking after dinner.  That's not such a bad thing except that I like to snack all during the day too.  I'm sort of a grazer.  But since I'm trying to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, the snacking-all-day-thing is not really working with my diet.  So the habit I'm getting rid of is snacking after dinner. I will still allow myself to snack during the day, but I am declaring dinner to be my last food for the day.

Since time is a vacuum, I have to replace the time spent snacking with something else, non-food related.  So my replacement habit is establishing a relaxing bedtime routine with my son. I've decided it's going to be: feed, read, change, and swaddle.  I'll give him his bedtime feeding, then read him one of his books or even the Bible, then change his diaper for the night, and finally swaddle him in his blanket and put him to bed.  Research shows that babies are comforted by the same routine around bedtime.  Not only is this good for him, but it gives me some great bonding time with my son as well!

So have you figured out what habit you are going to replace and what habit you are going to instill in the next two months?  If you're up to the challenge and will commit to being my buddy on this leg of the journey, do me a favor and comment below on your two habits.  Or you can comment on my Facebook link.  I'm really excited to hear from you and find out what good habits you're going to try and which ones you're going to kick to the curb for good!  We're all in this together!

Trying to Do it All (Doesn't Work)!

This post is for those of you out there that attempt to tackle your day with a vengeance.  When your alarm goes off in the morning, you jump out of bed like there is a fire under you and are immediately awake (ok, well maybe it's more like after your second cup of coffee).  You save your to-do lists just so you can admire how much you're able to accomplish in a twenty-four hour period.  You are a type-A, gotta-get-it-done now kind of person.

Just like me! Only that way of life doesn't seem to be working for me anymore.  This week I returned to work.  I am now a part-time teacher and a full-time mom and that means that time to run my household is a precious commodity.  I am lucky if I get a shower and dry my hair by bedtime.

Unfortunately, my personality lends itself to trying to achieve perfection, so if I happen to go to bed with items left on my to-do list, I somehow feel like a failure for the day.  And that's really ridiculous because I am taking care of another human being!  I've never had to do that before, so I need to learn to cut myself some slack!

The point I'm trying to make is that trying to do it all doesn't work and will often leave you more frustrated than if you had chosen a few key tasks to accomplish in a day, week, or month.

Do you ever have so many goals floating through your head that you never make progress on any of them because you're trying to "do it all"?  This happens to me.  I want to publish a book, write a song, drop five pounds, and try out four new recipes-- all in the same month!  It's no surprise when the month comes to an end and I haven't made progress on any of them because I couldn't choose just one to focus my attention on.

Goal-setting and time management experts have a great technique for combating the "do it all or nothing" mentality.  They recommend asking yourself, "If I could only accomplish one thing all day, what thing is most important to get done?"  Then you complete that one thing BEFORE you do anything else (like mindless channel surfing: guilty as charged!).  Only after it's completed, you ask, "If I could only accomplish one other thing all day, what would it be?" This technique allows you to focus on one thing at a time and achieve the most important tasks.  Then you can go to bed at night knowing you handled first things first and didn't waste as much time on unimportant tasks.  

I've recently discovered a cool app called "Balanced".  I have the free version on my phone and it allows me to enter and track five different tasks that need to be accomplished for me to feel balanced.  One of my tasks is to drink 8 oz of water four times a day.  What's cool about the app is that it will remind me when I need to do something.  Then after I've completed the task, I can check it off.  I've really enjoyed the app and how it is helping me put things in perspective.

I hope you will try the above technique if you are struggling with a massive to-do list.  Simply choose your most important tasks and don't do anything else until they are finished.  Then, and only then, can you indulge in mindless channel surfing completely guilt-free!

A Victory!

I wanted to take a moment and share a little victory I'm having today.  After all, this blog is all about Girls Making Goals and reaching them, so I think every small goal should be celebrated along with the big ones.

Today is my six week postpartum appointment with my obstetrician. When my son was born, I gave myself a goal to be at a certain weight by the time this appointment rolled around.  Yesterday, I stepped on the scale and found out that I met my goal!  I am 13 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight!

Since I have met this goal, I'm ready to set another: by New Year's Day, I want to be within five pounds of my pre-pregnancy weight.  I think this is very realistic because I should be able to pump up the exercise after my doctor clears me.  All I've done up to this point is walk.

I believe my body has returned to its pre-pregnancy shape due to several factors:

1. I was healthy when I got pregnant.  I wanted to be in great shape when my husband and I were trying to conceive.  For some reason, I just felt that the entire process would be easier.  And in my case, it was.  We conceived within two months of trying to have a baby.

2. I kept up a walking routine.  Both my doctor and my mom constantly encouraged me to keep walking while I was pregnant.  And it seems that some research indicates walking throughout pregnancy not only helps you feel better during the pregnancy, but also aids in an easier delivery.

3. I am nursing.  Obviously, the nutritional benefits for my baby were enough to encourage me to nurse.  But I have to admit, rather selfishly, that when I read that nursing burns up to 500 calories a day, I was sold! I thought it would be the easiest exercise program ever!  Ha!  It really is hard work, not to mention, my son likes to eat A LOT!  But now that we've both gotten the hang of it, I wouldn't do anything differently.  It's convenient and cheap and nourishing to my baby.

4. I believe that my body will, in time, return to its healthiest weight.  It's easy to get stressed that my body is not the same as it was a year ago, but then I remind myself that it just did this amazing job of carrying a baby full-term!  Anyone who has carried a baby should be commended!  You are a rock star!  Isn't it amazing that your body can handle so much?  What an innovative Creator we have!  And in time, if well cared for, a body can look as good as it did before pregnancy.  I have many friends who are proof of this!

I'm not seeking to brag or toot my own horn in all of this.  I just wanted to share what has worked so far for me.

All I can say is that every extra pound and new stretch mark was worth it when I snuggle my precious son.  I would do it again in a second!

This is my first pregnancy picture at eight weeks. I was still at my pre-pregnancy weight.  Hoping to get back to this by January 2014!

Bloom Where You're Planted

"She was a wife and mother, in love with the life she lived." -Nicholas Sparks, from A Bend in the Road

It is not very often that I run across a quote in a novel that stands out to me.  However, I just finished reading this wonderful novel listed above by Nicholas Sparks and several pages from the end, I read the line above.  And it caught my attention, probably because that line very much describes my life right now.

If someone asked me what I do today, I would say my job is "wife and mother". Even though my profession is a musician, being a wife and mother in this period of my life far outweighs anything else going on.

But the second part of the quote is what really inspired me: "she was...in love with the life she lived." What a beautiful line.  How many of us can honestly say we're in love with the life we live?

Go ahead and be honest with yourself: are you?

I believe a huge part of loving your life is looking for the opportunities to flourish right where you are.  I live away from my mom (very far away, about 800 miles), and for the longest time, I wasn't content with my life because I didn't live close.  Finally after several years, I stopped fighting myself and began to set goals and dream about what could be right where I am in Florida.  And that is when good things started happening and momentum began to take me to greater levels of personal and professional success.

One of my favorite quotes is "Bloom where you're planted".  You may not feel like you have the resources around you that you would like, but you can always take what you do have and make something with them.  Wherever God happens to have you in this moment of your life is where you are supposed to be.  It's easy to fight it and hope that things will change, but I challenge you to bloom where you are.  You can flourish, even in a desert season.

Can you imagine how much better our world would be if more women rose up and decided to truly love the life we live?

My wish for you is that you would find contentment in the here and now.  Live today.  It's all you really have anyway.

Mini Goals

Well, I realize that it's been over a month since I posted anything. As any of my readers may know, the last time I posted was days away from the birth of my son.

I am happy to report, Landon Christopher King was born on Tuesday, September 3rd, weighing 6 pounds and 14 ounces.

He has quickly become the center of my world!  Since coming home from the hospital two days after his birth, there has been little time to do anything besides feed, burp, change, and cuddle my little munchkin.

One thing that has been difficult for me is realizing my limitations within a 24 hour day.  There is just not enough time to do the things I used to do.  Heck, sometimes I barely have time to choke down lunch!

Enter the mini goal.  A mini goal is a single step goal that I can accomplish in about ten minutes or less. This little trick has become my lifeline this past week.  I wake up in the morning and jot down no more than five mini goals that I want to achieve during my day.

Today's mini goals were as follows:

1. Bathe
2. Journal
3. Figure finances
4. Walk
5. Pick up the clutter in the living room

Now I realize some of these are basic, basic things.  But, now that I have little time to myself, I feel pretty amazing when I get to check off "bathe" on my list (and I do it while my son is sleeping!).

Mini goals are all about instant gratification.  Right now, I'm not at a place where I can work on major life goals.  And that's ok.  Because one of my unwritten goals is to spend this time working on becoming the best mommy I can be.  But having mini goals still allows me to see what I've accomplished during a day, all the while straddling a cutie in my arms.

If you are like me and are facing a very busy time in your life, maybe it will benefit you to work on mini goals as opposed to a big life goal.  All you need is a post-it or an electronic device that lets you make a to-do list and you're in business.  Try not to do more than five mini goals.  The idea is to see yourself making progress, not overwhelming yourself if you're unable to finish a giant to-do list.

I hope using mini goals is helpful for you!

Cheerleaders Needed!

Happy Saturday to everyone!  I hope you are enjoying this lovely day and getting ready for a fun three-day weekend!

Today I want to talk about something that is absolutely critical to the success of your goals.  If you don't have this in your life, you are going to have a difficult time living the life of your dreams.  Hopefully you have more than one.

I'm talking about a support person, or a cheerleader.  A cheerleader is someone who knows you well and believes in your dreams while offering a shoulder to lean on when the going gets tough, but is also truthful enough to help you overcome your (known or unknown) weaknesses.

None of us are an island, but so many of us resist sharing our deepest goals and desires with the people who know us best.  Why is that?  Do we think they will laugh in our face?  Shun us for aiming at a ridiculous target?  More often than not, the people closest to us want us to succeed and they may know exactly what to say or do to get us moving in the right direction.

In all of the goal-related books I've read and studied, one of the first steps to take when starting a new goal is to establish a support system.  Whether you meet with someone in person, schedule regular phone meetings, or even post your goal on a social media site, having a support system in place is like laying down the steel skeleton of a building.  It is establishing a rock-solid foundation to build your dreams on. You are making yourself accountable to someone other than yourself.  Without a support system, it's a lot easier to quit when times get difficult.  You can easily talk yourself out of your goals,  but when someone else knows what you're trying to do, they will be able to push you to go the extra mile, even when you don't seem to have the energy left to take another step.

Keep in mind that a support person has your best interests in mind.  If he or she tells you something you don't want to hear, take a moment to examine if there is truth behind it.  If he or she points out that you always say you want to lose ten pounds, but eat three candy bars every day, don't get offended if it's the truth.  Support people are much different than saboteurs, who secretly just want to see you fall flat on your face.  Support people speak the truth in love, even if it's sometimes hard to hear.

Today, can you identify at least one support person in your life?  If not, think about people around you who could be potential cheerleaders for your goals.  I encourage you to contact someone today and be honest about your struggles and successes.  I bet you will come away from the conversation feeling a renewed push to work on your goals.

Before I go, I'd like to give a shout out to one of my biggest cheerleaders, especially right now, and that is my mom.  Even though she lives 800 miles away, she made plans to move in with me and my husband for the next month to help us with our new son, due to arrive today (although I don't think he's coming quite yet).  This week has not been easy for me, but my mom has been here to encourage me.  One of the first things she did after she arrived was paint my toes for me since I can't reach them.  How's that for a support person?  I don't know how I would have made it through this challenging week without her here.  She's been a shoulder for a very emotional pregnant person to cry on all week long.

I hope you have many support people in your life today, but even if you have just one, reach out to them!  You will be doing yourself a favor.  And, while you're at it, think about the people in your life who might need cheerleaders of their own.  Who can you provide support for today?

I leave you with this Scripture:

"As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend." -Proverbs 27:17

Almost to the Finish Line, Part 2

Yesterday after I had posted "Almost to the Finish Line", I was doing my daily devotional and happened across one of my favorite Scriptures.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."  -Galatians 6:9 (NIV)

Another version of the Bible says, "don't become weary in well-doing because in DUE season, we will reap a harvest..."

How cool is that?  The message of this verse is simple.  If you're working towards a goal that will bring you good, don't give up because at the right time, you will see your harvest or the benefits of your work.

What can you do to work on your goals today?  Keep pressing towards them and you are sure to reap a harvest in due time.

Happy Tuesday.

Almost to the Finish Line

As of this week, I am 38 weeks pregnant and considered for all intents and purposes, full-term.  Won't you be glad when I have this baby and can stop talking about pregnancy?  It's just that I have found so many parallels from pregnancy to other aspects of life, such as goal-setting.  One of which I would like to share with you today.

You might say that I am 90-95% done with being pregnant.  Now that's a ridiculous statement, because the only time I can quit being pregnant is once my body is no longer carrying a child.  But I have basically made it through that much of the pregnancy process.  After having several days of feeling like nothing is happening in regard to the birthing process, I'm ready to be done!  Obviously, there's only one way this can end and that's in my giving birth to my son, but if I could quit now, I might consider it! Thankfully, that's not an option.  I will be glad when I have reached the 100% mark and can see, smell, hear, and hold the literal fruit of my labor!

So often with my goals, I start out strong.  I am determined and ready to see them through to completion.  I race through the 20% and 30% marks, making great learning gains along the way as I pick up momentum.  I soar through the half-way point and realize that I'm half-way done!  75% comes and goes.  Then 80%...Then 85%... Then I reach 90%.  And this is where my struggle often begins.

As opposed to realizing that I'm so much closer to the 100% mark than anywhere else, my enthusiasm begins to wane.  Maybe another project is vying for my attention or I'm just plain tired.  In any case, I have noticed that when it comes to my goals, I have no problem seeing them through to about 90%.  And then I just quit.  Sometimes for months; oftentimes for years.

Just because I can see the finish line up ahead doesn't mean I've passed it.  I have to ask myself how many rewards I've missed out on simply because I quit at the 90% mark.  10% is not that far!  Even if I have to grit my teeth, suck in my stomach, and claw my way to the quitting point, the end goal is worth taking the time to complete it.

Do you have any goals that you set for yourself that are this close to completion, but you're feeling the strong urge to quit?  Maybe you've lost 40 pounds, but have 5 more to go.  Maybe you've set a business sales goal that you've come 90% of the way to meeting.  This is the point where it's easiest to give in.  You might think, "Ninety percent is good enough.  Look how far I've come!"  And you would be correct.  But how amazing would it feel to cross the finish line?  To be able to say, "I did it"?

Today my challenge to you is to stay the course.  If you are almost finished with any small or big goal, do whatever you have to do to make it to the 100% mark. Even if that means telling your inner critic that "good enough" is not good enough for you.  

In being pregnant, I've reflected a lot lately on the legacy that I want to leave.  I want my son to know that his mom was and is a woman who finishes what she starts-- each time, every time.

Establishing a Reward System

At the risk of this post sounding very Pavlovian, it's so important when you're working towards any goal, big or small, that you have a reward system in place.

I came to this conclusion last year as I was trying to lose about ten vanity pounds.  I realized that being ten pounds lighter at the end of the process wasn't enough of a motivator for me.  I needed small rewards along the way that would give me that extra edge on the tough days.  So after every two pounds lost, I promised myself small rewards of new workout clothing, a book I'd been wanting to purchase, and a date night with my husband.  Then, my ultimate reward when I met the goal was to talk to my husband about having a baby.  Talk about a great motivator!

Well, being that I'm weeks away from giving birth, we all know how that discussion went!  I didn't quite reach my ten pound goal, but I found out I was pregnant right when I was at an optimal weight for myself.  And I'm not sure I would have been there if it weren't for the reward system I had in place.

You know the saying, "Life isn't about the destination; it's about the journey".  I think this speaks directly for our need to have a rewards system as we're working towards major life accomplishments.  Even if your goal is so motivating, thinking about achieving it makes you want to dance around the room, at some point you are going to get tired.  You are going to get frustrated and question whether or not you've made any progress.   And it's at this key time where if you have a reward in place, you will find the extra push to keep going.

So, today, as you are looking at your goal, think of a way to intermittently reward yourself.  The above rewards are all things that motivate me.  Your list might look very different, but the point is, the rewards have to be appealing to you.  Otherwise they won't motivate you at all.

On paper, make a list that looks something like this:

My Current Goal: ___________________________

Time Frame to Accomplish: ____________________

My Top 5 Rewards:

___________________________

___________________________

___________________________

___________________________

___________________________

Your rewards do not have to be equal in value to you, but it is important that you put the bigger rewards closer to your ultimate goal.  Once you've established your Top Five rewards, all you need to do is space them out as evenly as possible from now until your goal deadline.  

Then, do something today, even if it is small, that gets you working on your goal.  As soon as you meet a reward, don't delay yourself the pleasure of having it.  Have the ice cream, read the novel.  Go on a beach excursion.  Whatever it is... make sure you do it!  The key is to accomplish our goals while enjoying life at the same time.  If we were only supposed to enjoy the destination, the rest of life would be pretty dull, don't your think?  

I invite you today to enjoy the journey!  Reward yourself and see if you aren't that much closer to accomplishing the life of your dreams!

Get Uncomfortable!

This coming Saturday, I will officially enter my ninth month of pregnancy!

I am here to say, I am uncomfortable!  For those of you who don't know me personally, picture a five foot nothing, petite woman carrying an extra twenty-five pounds, most of it in my stomach (or just see the picture below).  My doctor tells me my son is going to grow.  I look down at my already bulging belly and think "where?"  My son has already taken up space in my ribs where he loves to kick me at nighttime, just as I'm trying to wind down.

Ask my husband how many nights I've already spent tossing and turning, hour after hour.  About a week ago, he came home with some Tylenol PM and basically stated for the sake of our marriage, I needed to take it!  He's tired of not sleeping either.

The good news is that at the end of this period of being uncomfortable, shortly after I get really uncomfortable in labor and delivery, there will be a baby in my arms that makes all of the discomfort totally worth it.  Then the sleepless nights and the backaches and the constant visits to the bathroom won't seem all that bad because those uncomfortable things moved me toward something I really wanted in the first place.

If you think about it, being comfortable in life keeps us from changing what needs to be changed.  If something is working for you, even a little, it's way easier to go with the flow than to admit you could aim for something better if you went a different way.  Being comfortable sometimes keeps us from experiencing the growth we so desperately need.

Is there an area in your life that you know needs improvement, but feels too hard to change?  I bet there is one little step you can take to get yourself just slightly uncomfortable.  Try it.  Then, after you've kicked fear in the face or simply smacked it around a little, take another step outside the comfort zone.  Keep taking tiny tip-toe steps until you've gradually left the trail of Easy Street and begun to forge your own path. If you get uncomfortable, you know you're on the right track because you've become your own catalyst of change.

Being uncomfortable is not fun in the moment, but it always hints at something better to come around the corner!

(Here I am, at almost nine months pregnant, feeling uncomfortable.  But I know, he is all worth it!  Can't wait to meet my son very soon!)

Where Are the Dreamers?

Where are the dreamers?

For several days, it's been on my mind that so many people have lost the ability to dream about what could be and about who they could be.  It gets me fired up.  Makes me mad even, because there are shells of people walking around who are literally using 5% of their potential.

Without going into detail, I have some people close to me who are simply existing every day.  They have lost their ability to envision a bright future for themselves.  They have no goals, no drive, and no energy.  And so they wait around, day after day, which brings them closer to death, without ever having truly experienced life.

At one time, these people had incredible potential.  But somewhere along the way, they lost the vision for their lives.  They stopped envisioning the future because they needed to "just make it" through the present.

I believe that the mundane day in and day out is what keeps so many of us from dreaming.  We get too comfortable with our lives right now and fail to exercise any tunnel vision for the future.

What if you have stopped dreaming and become content to simply exist?  Know that you are not alone and that there is hope!  When was the last time you sat down and thought about your life?  Are you happy with where you are?  Is it where you want to be five years down the road?

In order to become a dreamer again, you must become very clear about what you want.  Even if your brain is screaming at you, telling you that you'll never be a _______ (painter, chef, architect, business owner, mother, etc.), if the dream feels authentic deep, deep down in your soul, it is probably meant to be!

Challenge: Take ten minutes today for yourself to dream.  On a blank sheet of paper, write down the following questions and then answer them as honestly as possible:

Have I forgotten how to dream?  If so, why?

Where would I like to see myself a year from now?

Where would I like to see myself five years from now?

Where would I like to see myself ten years from now?

What kind of a legacy do I want to leave when I pass on?

If you take the time to answer these questions, even a dreamer that has been dormant for years can begin to come awake inside!  Don't be surprised if you have more energy than you've had in a long time!  You're finally dreaming again, and that, my friend, is a very good step in the right direction!

Why Use Deadlines?

When I first started this blog, I talked about the difference between dreams and goals.  Goals are simply dreams with legs on them.  That is, goals are not so vague as dreams, but are meant to be accomplished within a certain period of time.

For instance, maybe you have a dream of becoming a millionaire.  That's a wonderful dream to aspire to, but it's very undefined.  How will you know when you're successful?  Does "millionaire" mean one million to you or one hundred million?  Do you want to be thirty-five or sixty-five by the time it happens?

A goal helps you clearly define your ideas to change a dream into a series of measurable steps that will eventually get you where you want to be.

One of the easiest and surefire ways to measure your success towards a goal is by setting a deadline.  I know, I know, deadlines sound so final, but they really are so important in helping you progress towards success.  And they really aren't as final as they sound.  What happens if you don't make a self-imposed deadline?  Well, unless you're dead, you can always set a new deadline and start again, or rather continue on the journey you've already started.  And you are that much closer to meeting your goal.

Deadlines give us the kick in the butt that we need to take action!  It's a little harder to lounge on the couch eating potato chips if you have a looming deadline for your first half-marathon coming up in a month, right?

Last week, I told you that my most pressing goal of the summer is to finish editing my eBook and self-publish.  I have a natural deadline built in to have this completed by the time my son is born in a month or so.  Let me tell you, since posting that goal and deadline, I have been working on my book!  In fact, I am editing the last chapter tomorrow!  In this case, having a deadline and staying accountable to my blogging community is really helping me get closer to seeing this goal come to pass.

Do you have a goal with an undefined deadline?  Why not take a moment and pull out your calendar and set a "finish line"?  Then you can work backwards from the completed goal to where to are right this moment and outline a series of steps to get you there.  I promise, if you miss your deadline, no one will be waiting to slap your hand.  But you will probably be a lot closer to achieving your goal than before when you had no defined "end time".

We're all in this together!  Keep setting those goals, ladies!

Do You See It?

Happy Monday, everyone!

I hope everyone enjoyed a great weekend!  I spend it taking a childbirth class with my husband and learning what labor and delivery might be like when it happens for us, somewhere around six weeks from now.

I think the best part of the childbirth class was being able to tour the floor where my baby will make his introduction to the world.  I was able to visualize my first parenting experience a little easier after taking the class.

Which brings me to my topic of the day.  You have your goals that you are currently working on.  But can you see them being completed in your mind's eye?  It's not enough to just wish for something.   You have to see yourself actually doing or being that thing, often long before it happens in reality.

I realized that I had some goals in my head that I had yet to visualize actually happening.  So what I was really doing was sabotaging myself with my own doubt.  I read a devotion by Pastor Joel Osteen that reminded me  I have to see my dreams in faith if I ever want to see them in front of me.

What are some ways you and I can visualize ourselves achieving our goals?  We can surround ourselves with positive people who encourage us to do big things.  We can kick our negative thinking to the curb anytime it starts to rear its ugly head.  We can replace that thinking with positive affirmations that bring us closer to our goals.  We can acknowledge that fear is there and take a leap of faith anyway.  Fear usually gets out of the way after we jump, but rarely before!

What is your biggest goal right now?  Have you taken the time to see it happening?  If not, I hope you'll spend five or ten minutes today seeing yourself achieving great new things!

Have a little faith!

Thought for the Day... Mid-Year Resolutions

For some reason, I woke up thinking about how quickly this year is already flying by.  According to my day planner, we are in week 28 of 2013.  That means we have 24 weeks left of 2013.

I asked my smartphone to give me the number of days left in the year.  Here are the results:

173 days left in the year
5 months and 20 days
24 weeks and 5 days
123 weekdays
.47 years

Now, looking over those statistics, it's obvious that a little over half the year is behind us.  Water under the bridge.  Spilt milk...

But what about those other 173 days?  That's still a sizable amount of time!  What can you do with five months and 20 days so that you look back on 2013 and feel proud of yourself?

Today might be a good day to dust off those New Year's Resolutions you made back in January, if you made any at all.  If not, perhaps it's time for a few Mid-year  Resolutions.  There's no rule that says you have to make your yearly resolutions in January.  Why not break the mold?

Maybe you haven't made as much progress in 2013 as you would like.  But the year is not over yet!  You still have time to make some big strides with your goals.

What action can you take today to make the rest of this year the best of this year?

Write it Down!

It struck me as interesting and not coincidental that the message at church on Sunday seemed to have everything to do with this new blog, Girls Making Goals.  The main Scripture passage was from the short book of Habakkuk in the Old Testament.

"Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it,
For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay." -Habakkuk 2:2-3

The part of those two verses that jumps out at me is the instruction to "write down the revelation".  Other versions of the Bible say to "write the vision and make it plain".  A revelation or vision could very well be synonymous with a goal.

Numerous studies show that we are more successful at our goals when we write them down.  I've always been curious as to why that is, but I think that when you write down a goal, you are cementing your commitment in both your conscious and subconscious mind to bring it to pass. Consciously, you have a visual cue and reminder of what you intend to accomplish.  Subconsciously, your brain sets about the task of accomplishing steps towards that goal, whether or not you realize it.  That is the cool part!  Even if you write a goal down and promptly forget about it, there is a part of your brain that still remembers it.

After posting my goal of e-Publishing my vocal book, I happened to stumble across a bundle of eBooks last night on writing and the process of e-Publishing a book.  Again, I don't think it was at all coincidental that this happened!  I wrote down my goal and suddenly, I had new resources available to help me reach it.

Whatever goal you are currently working on, have you taken the time to write it down?  If not, here is a very simple assignment.  Stop whatever you are doing (hopefully still reading this post!) and go grab a post-it note or index card.  Jot down your goal, remembering to be specific and stick it somewhere you will see it every day.  Next week, we will revisit your written-down goal and see if having a visual cue has helped you work on the goal or brought you some unexpected resources.

Happy Wednesday!

My End-of-Summer Goal!

In the last post, I talked about the difference between dreams and goals and then outlined how to turn your vague wishes into clearly defined goals using the SMART system.

Today I'm going to tell you about the current goal that I have for myself and outline it using the SMART system.

Although I have many goals I am usually working on at a given time, this goal is especially important to me as it has a definitive deadline.

You see, I am eight months pregnant with my first child and will more than likely be a new mom by the tail-end of next month!  That is scary because I will be a first-time parent, but also extremely motivating to my goals because my free time is about to become very scarce!  I have to take advantage of it while I have the chance.

So, my most pressing goal is to finish editing and e-publish my book on singing before the baby comes.

Here is my goal, outlined with the SMART system:

-I want to e-publish my vocal book through Amazon by the end of next month (Specific)
-I know I will have achieved my goal when the book is completely edited, formatted into e-publication, and is available for purchase on Amazon (Measurable)
-I have roughly seven weeks to finish this project and because I am on summer break, I am able to devote thirty minutes daily to working on my book; also, the book is already written, it just needs to be edited and formatted correctly (Attainable)
-I desire to see this goal through to completion because singing is something I am passionate about and I am able to contribute first-hand knowledge on the skills it takes to develop a better singing voice (Realistic)
-My deadline for this goal is the birth of my son, or August 31st, whichever comes first! (Timely)

So, there you have it!  Now that I've written it on my blog, I have to follow through, otherwise, I'll need to report back to you that I've failed to meet my goal!

Do you have a goal that you'd like to complete before the end of the summer?  If so, and you'd care to share it, feel free to leave a comment below!  I would love to see what other women are working on this summer!

What's in a Goal?

Today in my GMG post, I want to focus on a fundamental question: what's in a goal?

The purpose of this blog is to motivate women the world over to go after their goals and celebrate their successes when they are achieved.  But we all have different goals we wish to accomplish in our short lifetimes.  One woman may want to cook more healthy meals at home.  Another woman may wish to lose 50 pounds this year.  And yet someone else may want to quit smoking once and for all.

So what exactly is the criteria that defines a true goal?  And not just a wish or a dream?

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a huge fan of Dave Ramsey, the financial guru.  He has helped me not only understand my personal finances better, but has also taught me a lot about the difference between goals and dreams.  Dave differentiates dreams and goals in this way: a dream is a vague wish, something to be accomplished "someday".  Whereas, a goal is a specific plan that has a time limit to be achieved.  Notice, dreams and goals can be either big or small.  The difference is that dreams are hazy and goals have "feet" on them, so to speak.

No doubt, you've heard of setting SMART goals.  This acronym can help you turn a vague dream into a goal by applying the words contained in a SMART goal.

S-pecific
M-easurable
A-ttainable
R-ealistic
T-imely

Instead of going into depth about each word, let's just take a dream and turn it into a goal using these words.

Dream: I want to cook more.

Why is this a dream?  For one, it's really vague.  It's wonderful to want to cook more, but that just sounds like wishful thinking.  Maybe you've had too much McDonald's this week and would like to savor a dish from your own kitchen.

Here's how we turn it into a goal:

"I want to cook more" defined by SMART goals:

Specifically, I want to cook three dinners per week and eat leftovers on other weeknights.
I will know I've achieved this goal when I have purchased the ingredients for three different meals at the grocery store each week and have cooked the meals I've planned in advance. (Measurable)
I know I can achieve this goal with a little pre-planning on Saturdays and making sure I have been to the grocery store for the week by Monday mornings. (Attainable)
I will stick to this goal because I know it will help my food budget by not eating out so much and also help mine and my family's diet because I can control the foods we're eating. (Realistic)
I want to begin implementing this goal starting on Saturday and will examine my progress at the end of this month and evaluate what's working and what's not. (Timely)

We just took a vague wish and put SMART feet on it, effectively turning it into a goal.  It wasn't difficult, it just required a little more definition than, "I want to cook more".  Now we have a very measurable goal that we will know very simply if we've managed to achieve by the end of the month.

I have a challenge for you today: Take one of your dreams and apply the SMART method to it.  Write it out as a dream and then begin to define it into a goal using the same method above.  Once you've done that, read what you've wrote.  I bet you are starting to get excited now because you may be able to actually see this dream coming to pass, now that it's a goal.

In my next blog post, I will share with you my current SMART goal.

Have an awesome Saturday, all you GMG's!

New Goals and a New Start

I am so excited to introduce my new blog, Girls Making Goals.  I've had this project in the works in my mind for over a year, and last night while sitting on a boat watching Fourth of July fireworks, I decided it was time to bring it to life.  Enough thinking!  This blog is all about action as you will see in the coming months.

Here is the premise behind Girls Making Goals, or GMG for short.  Every day I am inspired by women who are making their lofty, seemingly-impossible goals their new reality.  They are living their dreams. But I figure that for every woman who is doing so, there are probably even more behind the scenes who have unfulfilled goals that are yet to be accomplished.  We need to know that we are not alone.  With a little extra support and a little (friendly) shove in the right direction, we can all become Girls Making Goals!  Not only can we set high expectations for ourselves, but we can, with the right network of support, meet those goals and go on to inspire others.

Some of what you can expect in this blog will include:

-Reviews on articles and books that deal with goal-setting
-My own personal goals and my process of achieving them (or failing to, that's just as important!)
-Inspiring stories of other GMG's doing their thing
-Ideas and tips to help you reach your goals
-Support for times when you need some extra encouragement
-Ways to celebrate when you become a GMG

I hope you can see that this blog is here to serve as an inspiration for your goals.  We need strong, empowered women like you.  You owe it to this world to go after your dreams in a relentless way.  And when you get tired or when it's time to celebrate a goal accomplished, Girls Making Goals can be a place for you to turn to for that extra support!

Here's to all of the closet GMG's out there today!  Ladies, it's time to start dreaming of what could be and what very soon will be...

Kristin King