Get Uncomfortable!

This coming Saturday, I will officially enter my ninth month of pregnancy!

I am here to say, I am uncomfortable!  For those of you who don't know me personally, picture a five foot nothing, petite woman carrying an extra twenty-five pounds, most of it in my stomach (or just see the picture below).  My doctor tells me my son is going to grow.  I look down at my already bulging belly and think "where?"  My son has already taken up space in my ribs where he loves to kick me at nighttime, just as I'm trying to wind down.

Ask my husband how many nights I've already spent tossing and turning, hour after hour.  About a week ago, he came home with some Tylenol PM and basically stated for the sake of our marriage, I needed to take it!  He's tired of not sleeping either.

The good news is that at the end of this period of being uncomfortable, shortly after I get really uncomfortable in labor and delivery, there will be a baby in my arms that makes all of the discomfort totally worth it.  Then the sleepless nights and the backaches and the constant visits to the bathroom won't seem all that bad because those uncomfortable things moved me toward something I really wanted in the first place.

If you think about it, being comfortable in life keeps us from changing what needs to be changed.  If something is working for you, even a little, it's way easier to go with the flow than to admit you could aim for something better if you went a different way.  Being comfortable sometimes keeps us from experiencing the growth we so desperately need.

Is there an area in your life that you know needs improvement, but feels too hard to change?  I bet there is one little step you can take to get yourself just slightly uncomfortable.  Try it.  Then, after you've kicked fear in the face or simply smacked it around a little, take another step outside the comfort zone.  Keep taking tiny tip-toe steps until you've gradually left the trail of Easy Street and begun to forge your own path. If you get uncomfortable, you know you're on the right track because you've become your own catalyst of change.

Being uncomfortable is not fun in the moment, but it always hints at something better to come around the corner!

(Here I am, at almost nine months pregnant, feeling uncomfortable.  But I know, he is all worth it!  Can't wait to meet my son very soon!)

Where Are the Dreamers?

Where are the dreamers?

For several days, it's been on my mind that so many people have lost the ability to dream about what could be and about who they could be.  It gets me fired up.  Makes me mad even, because there are shells of people walking around who are literally using 5% of their potential.

Without going into detail, I have some people close to me who are simply existing every day.  They have lost their ability to envision a bright future for themselves.  They have no goals, no drive, and no energy.  And so they wait around, day after day, which brings them closer to death, without ever having truly experienced life.

At one time, these people had incredible potential.  But somewhere along the way, they lost the vision for their lives.  They stopped envisioning the future because they needed to "just make it" through the present.

I believe that the mundane day in and day out is what keeps so many of us from dreaming.  We get too comfortable with our lives right now and fail to exercise any tunnel vision for the future.

What if you have stopped dreaming and become content to simply exist?  Know that you are not alone and that there is hope!  When was the last time you sat down and thought about your life?  Are you happy with where you are?  Is it where you want to be five years down the road?

In order to become a dreamer again, you must become very clear about what you want.  Even if your brain is screaming at you, telling you that you'll never be a _______ (painter, chef, architect, business owner, mother, etc.), if the dream feels authentic deep, deep down in your soul, it is probably meant to be!

Challenge: Take ten minutes today for yourself to dream.  On a blank sheet of paper, write down the following questions and then answer them as honestly as possible:

Have I forgotten how to dream?  If so, why?

Where would I like to see myself a year from now?

Where would I like to see myself five years from now?

Where would I like to see myself ten years from now?

What kind of a legacy do I want to leave when I pass on?

If you take the time to answer these questions, even a dreamer that has been dormant for years can begin to come awake inside!  Don't be surprised if you have more energy than you've had in a long time!  You're finally dreaming again, and that, my friend, is a very good step in the right direction!

Why Use Deadlines?

When I first started this blog, I talked about the difference between dreams and goals.  Goals are simply dreams with legs on them.  That is, goals are not so vague as dreams, but are meant to be accomplished within a certain period of time.

For instance, maybe you have a dream of becoming a millionaire.  That's a wonderful dream to aspire to, but it's very undefined.  How will you know when you're successful?  Does "millionaire" mean one million to you or one hundred million?  Do you want to be thirty-five or sixty-five by the time it happens?

A goal helps you clearly define your ideas to change a dream into a series of measurable steps that will eventually get you where you want to be.

One of the easiest and surefire ways to measure your success towards a goal is by setting a deadline.  I know, I know, deadlines sound so final, but they really are so important in helping you progress towards success.  And they really aren't as final as they sound.  What happens if you don't make a self-imposed deadline?  Well, unless you're dead, you can always set a new deadline and start again, or rather continue on the journey you've already started.  And you are that much closer to meeting your goal.

Deadlines give us the kick in the butt that we need to take action!  It's a little harder to lounge on the couch eating potato chips if you have a looming deadline for your first half-marathon coming up in a month, right?

Last week, I told you that my most pressing goal of the summer is to finish editing my eBook and self-publish.  I have a natural deadline built in to have this completed by the time my son is born in a month or so.  Let me tell you, since posting that goal and deadline, I have been working on my book!  In fact, I am editing the last chapter tomorrow!  In this case, having a deadline and staying accountable to my blogging community is really helping me get closer to seeing this goal come to pass.

Do you have a goal with an undefined deadline?  Why not take a moment and pull out your calendar and set a "finish line"?  Then you can work backwards from the completed goal to where to are right this moment and outline a series of steps to get you there.  I promise, if you miss your deadline, no one will be waiting to slap your hand.  But you will probably be a lot closer to achieving your goal than before when you had no defined "end time".

We're all in this together!  Keep setting those goals, ladies!

Do You See It?

Happy Monday, everyone!

I hope everyone enjoyed a great weekend!  I spend it taking a childbirth class with my husband and learning what labor and delivery might be like when it happens for us, somewhere around six weeks from now.

I think the best part of the childbirth class was being able to tour the floor where my baby will make his introduction to the world.  I was able to visualize my first parenting experience a little easier after taking the class.

Which brings me to my topic of the day.  You have your goals that you are currently working on.  But can you see them being completed in your mind's eye?  It's not enough to just wish for something.   You have to see yourself actually doing or being that thing, often long before it happens in reality.

I realized that I had some goals in my head that I had yet to visualize actually happening.  So what I was really doing was sabotaging myself with my own doubt.  I read a devotion by Pastor Joel Osteen that reminded me  I have to see my dreams in faith if I ever want to see them in front of me.

What are some ways you and I can visualize ourselves achieving our goals?  We can surround ourselves with positive people who encourage us to do big things.  We can kick our negative thinking to the curb anytime it starts to rear its ugly head.  We can replace that thinking with positive affirmations that bring us closer to our goals.  We can acknowledge that fear is there and take a leap of faith anyway.  Fear usually gets out of the way after we jump, but rarely before!

What is your biggest goal right now?  Have you taken the time to see it happening?  If not, I hope you'll spend five or ten minutes today seeing yourself achieving great new things!

Have a little faith!

Thought for the Day... Mid-Year Resolutions

For some reason, I woke up thinking about how quickly this year is already flying by.  According to my day planner, we are in week 28 of 2013.  That means we have 24 weeks left of 2013.

I asked my smartphone to give me the number of days left in the year.  Here are the results:

173 days left in the year
5 months and 20 days
24 weeks and 5 days
123 weekdays
.47 years

Now, looking over those statistics, it's obvious that a little over half the year is behind us.  Water under the bridge.  Spilt milk...

But what about those other 173 days?  That's still a sizable amount of time!  What can you do with five months and 20 days so that you look back on 2013 and feel proud of yourself?

Today might be a good day to dust off those New Year's Resolutions you made back in January, if you made any at all.  If not, perhaps it's time for a few Mid-year  Resolutions.  There's no rule that says you have to make your yearly resolutions in January.  Why not break the mold?

Maybe you haven't made as much progress in 2013 as you would like.  But the year is not over yet!  You still have time to make some big strides with your goals.

What action can you take today to make the rest of this year the best of this year?

Write it Down!

It struck me as interesting and not coincidental that the message at church on Sunday seemed to have everything to do with this new blog, Girls Making Goals.  The main Scripture passage was from the short book of Habakkuk in the Old Testament.

"Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it,
For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay." -Habakkuk 2:2-3

The part of those two verses that jumps out at me is the instruction to "write down the revelation".  Other versions of the Bible say to "write the vision and make it plain".  A revelation or vision could very well be synonymous with a goal.

Numerous studies show that we are more successful at our goals when we write them down.  I've always been curious as to why that is, but I think that when you write down a goal, you are cementing your commitment in both your conscious and subconscious mind to bring it to pass. Consciously, you have a visual cue and reminder of what you intend to accomplish.  Subconsciously, your brain sets about the task of accomplishing steps towards that goal, whether or not you realize it.  That is the cool part!  Even if you write a goal down and promptly forget about it, there is a part of your brain that still remembers it.

After posting my goal of e-Publishing my vocal book, I happened to stumble across a bundle of eBooks last night on writing and the process of e-Publishing a book.  Again, I don't think it was at all coincidental that this happened!  I wrote down my goal and suddenly, I had new resources available to help me reach it.

Whatever goal you are currently working on, have you taken the time to write it down?  If not, here is a very simple assignment.  Stop whatever you are doing (hopefully still reading this post!) and go grab a post-it note or index card.  Jot down your goal, remembering to be specific and stick it somewhere you will see it every day.  Next week, we will revisit your written-down goal and see if having a visual cue has helped you work on the goal or brought you some unexpected resources.

Happy Wednesday!

My End-of-Summer Goal!

In the last post, I talked about the difference between dreams and goals and then outlined how to turn your vague wishes into clearly defined goals using the SMART system.

Today I'm going to tell you about the current goal that I have for myself and outline it using the SMART system.

Although I have many goals I am usually working on at a given time, this goal is especially important to me as it has a definitive deadline.

You see, I am eight months pregnant with my first child and will more than likely be a new mom by the tail-end of next month!  That is scary because I will be a first-time parent, but also extremely motivating to my goals because my free time is about to become very scarce!  I have to take advantage of it while I have the chance.

So, my most pressing goal is to finish editing and e-publish my book on singing before the baby comes.

Here is my goal, outlined with the SMART system:

-I want to e-publish my vocal book through Amazon by the end of next month (Specific)
-I know I will have achieved my goal when the book is completely edited, formatted into e-publication, and is available for purchase on Amazon (Measurable)
-I have roughly seven weeks to finish this project and because I am on summer break, I am able to devote thirty minutes daily to working on my book; also, the book is already written, it just needs to be edited and formatted correctly (Attainable)
-I desire to see this goal through to completion because singing is something I am passionate about and I am able to contribute first-hand knowledge on the skills it takes to develop a better singing voice (Realistic)
-My deadline for this goal is the birth of my son, or August 31st, whichever comes first! (Timely)

So, there you have it!  Now that I've written it on my blog, I have to follow through, otherwise, I'll need to report back to you that I've failed to meet my goal!

Do you have a goal that you'd like to complete before the end of the summer?  If so, and you'd care to share it, feel free to leave a comment below!  I would love to see what other women are working on this summer!

What's in a Goal?

Today in my GMG post, I want to focus on a fundamental question: what's in a goal?

The purpose of this blog is to motivate women the world over to go after their goals and celebrate their successes when they are achieved.  But we all have different goals we wish to accomplish in our short lifetimes.  One woman may want to cook more healthy meals at home.  Another woman may wish to lose 50 pounds this year.  And yet someone else may want to quit smoking once and for all.

So what exactly is the criteria that defines a true goal?  And not just a wish or a dream?

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a huge fan of Dave Ramsey, the financial guru.  He has helped me not only understand my personal finances better, but has also taught me a lot about the difference between goals and dreams.  Dave differentiates dreams and goals in this way: a dream is a vague wish, something to be accomplished "someday".  Whereas, a goal is a specific plan that has a time limit to be achieved.  Notice, dreams and goals can be either big or small.  The difference is that dreams are hazy and goals have "feet" on them, so to speak.

No doubt, you've heard of setting SMART goals.  This acronym can help you turn a vague dream into a goal by applying the words contained in a SMART goal.

S-pecific
M-easurable
A-ttainable
R-ealistic
T-imely

Instead of going into depth about each word, let's just take a dream and turn it into a goal using these words.

Dream: I want to cook more.

Why is this a dream?  For one, it's really vague.  It's wonderful to want to cook more, but that just sounds like wishful thinking.  Maybe you've had too much McDonald's this week and would like to savor a dish from your own kitchen.

Here's how we turn it into a goal:

"I want to cook more" defined by SMART goals:

Specifically, I want to cook three dinners per week and eat leftovers on other weeknights.
I will know I've achieved this goal when I have purchased the ingredients for three different meals at the grocery store each week and have cooked the meals I've planned in advance. (Measurable)
I know I can achieve this goal with a little pre-planning on Saturdays and making sure I have been to the grocery store for the week by Monday mornings. (Attainable)
I will stick to this goal because I know it will help my food budget by not eating out so much and also help mine and my family's diet because I can control the foods we're eating. (Realistic)
I want to begin implementing this goal starting on Saturday and will examine my progress at the end of this month and evaluate what's working and what's not. (Timely)

We just took a vague wish and put SMART feet on it, effectively turning it into a goal.  It wasn't difficult, it just required a little more definition than, "I want to cook more".  Now we have a very measurable goal that we will know very simply if we've managed to achieve by the end of the month.

I have a challenge for you today: Take one of your dreams and apply the SMART method to it.  Write it out as a dream and then begin to define it into a goal using the same method above.  Once you've done that, read what you've wrote.  I bet you are starting to get excited now because you may be able to actually see this dream coming to pass, now that it's a goal.

In my next blog post, I will share with you my current SMART goal.

Have an awesome Saturday, all you GMG's!

New Goals and a New Start

I am so excited to introduce my new blog, Girls Making Goals.  I've had this project in the works in my mind for over a year, and last night while sitting on a boat watching Fourth of July fireworks, I decided it was time to bring it to life.  Enough thinking!  This blog is all about action as you will see in the coming months.

Here is the premise behind Girls Making Goals, or GMG for short.  Every day I am inspired by women who are making their lofty, seemingly-impossible goals their new reality.  They are living their dreams. But I figure that for every woman who is doing so, there are probably even more behind the scenes who have unfulfilled goals that are yet to be accomplished.  We need to know that we are not alone.  With a little extra support and a little (friendly) shove in the right direction, we can all become Girls Making Goals!  Not only can we set high expectations for ourselves, but we can, with the right network of support, meet those goals and go on to inspire others.

Some of what you can expect in this blog will include:

-Reviews on articles and books that deal with goal-setting
-My own personal goals and my process of achieving them (or failing to, that's just as important!)
-Inspiring stories of other GMG's doing their thing
-Ideas and tips to help you reach your goals
-Support for times when you need some extra encouragement
-Ways to celebrate when you become a GMG

I hope you can see that this blog is here to serve as an inspiration for your goals.  We need strong, empowered women like you.  You owe it to this world to go after your dreams in a relentless way.  And when you get tired or when it's time to celebrate a goal accomplished, Girls Making Goals can be a place for you to turn to for that extra support!

Here's to all of the closet GMG's out there today!  Ladies, it's time to start dreaming of what could be and what very soon will be...

Kristin King