A Victory!

I wanted to take a moment and share a little victory I'm having today.  After all, this blog is all about Girls Making Goals and reaching them, so I think every small goal should be celebrated along with the big ones.

Today is my six week postpartum appointment with my obstetrician. When my son was born, I gave myself a goal to be at a certain weight by the time this appointment rolled around.  Yesterday, I stepped on the scale and found out that I met my goal!  I am 13 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight!

Since I have met this goal, I'm ready to set another: by New Year's Day, I want to be within five pounds of my pre-pregnancy weight.  I think this is very realistic because I should be able to pump up the exercise after my doctor clears me.  All I've done up to this point is walk.

I believe my body has returned to its pre-pregnancy shape due to several factors:

1. I was healthy when I got pregnant.  I wanted to be in great shape when my husband and I were trying to conceive.  For some reason, I just felt that the entire process would be easier.  And in my case, it was.  We conceived within two months of trying to have a baby.

2. I kept up a walking routine.  Both my doctor and my mom constantly encouraged me to keep walking while I was pregnant.  And it seems that some research indicates walking throughout pregnancy not only helps you feel better during the pregnancy, but also aids in an easier delivery.

3. I am nursing.  Obviously, the nutritional benefits for my baby were enough to encourage me to nurse.  But I have to admit, rather selfishly, that when I read that nursing burns up to 500 calories a day, I was sold! I thought it would be the easiest exercise program ever!  Ha!  It really is hard work, not to mention, my son likes to eat A LOT!  But now that we've both gotten the hang of it, I wouldn't do anything differently.  It's convenient and cheap and nourishing to my baby.

4. I believe that my body will, in time, return to its healthiest weight.  It's easy to get stressed that my body is not the same as it was a year ago, but then I remind myself that it just did this amazing job of carrying a baby full-term!  Anyone who has carried a baby should be commended!  You are a rock star!  Isn't it amazing that your body can handle so much?  What an innovative Creator we have!  And in time, if well cared for, a body can look as good as it did before pregnancy.  I have many friends who are proof of this!

I'm not seeking to brag or toot my own horn in all of this.  I just wanted to share what has worked so far for me.

All I can say is that every extra pound and new stretch mark was worth it when I snuggle my precious son.  I would do it again in a second!

This is my first pregnancy picture at eight weeks. I was still at my pre-pregnancy weight.  Hoping to get back to this by January 2014!

Bloom Where You're Planted

"She was a wife and mother, in love with the life she lived." -Nicholas Sparks, from A Bend in the Road

It is not very often that I run across a quote in a novel that stands out to me.  However, I just finished reading this wonderful novel listed above by Nicholas Sparks and several pages from the end, I read the line above.  And it caught my attention, probably because that line very much describes my life right now.

If someone asked me what I do today, I would say my job is "wife and mother". Even though my profession is a musician, being a wife and mother in this period of my life far outweighs anything else going on.

But the second part of the quote is what really inspired me: "she was...in love with the life she lived." What a beautiful line.  How many of us can honestly say we're in love with the life we live?

Go ahead and be honest with yourself: are you?

I believe a huge part of loving your life is looking for the opportunities to flourish right where you are.  I live away from my mom (very far away, about 800 miles), and for the longest time, I wasn't content with my life because I didn't live close.  Finally after several years, I stopped fighting myself and began to set goals and dream about what could be right where I am in Florida.  And that is when good things started happening and momentum began to take me to greater levels of personal and professional success.

One of my favorite quotes is "Bloom where you're planted".  You may not feel like you have the resources around you that you would like, but you can always take what you do have and make something with them.  Wherever God happens to have you in this moment of your life is where you are supposed to be.  It's easy to fight it and hope that things will change, but I challenge you to bloom where you are.  You can flourish, even in a desert season.

Can you imagine how much better our world would be if more women rose up and decided to truly love the life we live?

My wish for you is that you would find contentment in the here and now.  Live today.  It's all you really have anyway.

Mini Goals

Well, I realize that it's been over a month since I posted anything. As any of my readers may know, the last time I posted was days away from the birth of my son.

I am happy to report, Landon Christopher King was born on Tuesday, September 3rd, weighing 6 pounds and 14 ounces.

He has quickly become the center of my world!  Since coming home from the hospital two days after his birth, there has been little time to do anything besides feed, burp, change, and cuddle my little munchkin.

One thing that has been difficult for me is realizing my limitations within a 24 hour day.  There is just not enough time to do the things I used to do.  Heck, sometimes I barely have time to choke down lunch!

Enter the mini goal.  A mini goal is a single step goal that I can accomplish in about ten minutes or less. This little trick has become my lifeline this past week.  I wake up in the morning and jot down no more than five mini goals that I want to achieve during my day.

Today's mini goals were as follows:

1. Bathe
2. Journal
3. Figure finances
4. Walk
5. Pick up the clutter in the living room

Now I realize some of these are basic, basic things.  But, now that I have little time to myself, I feel pretty amazing when I get to check off "bathe" on my list (and I do it while my son is sleeping!).

Mini goals are all about instant gratification.  Right now, I'm not at a place where I can work on major life goals.  And that's ok.  Because one of my unwritten goals is to spend this time working on becoming the best mommy I can be.  But having mini goals still allows me to see what I've accomplished during a day, all the while straddling a cutie in my arms.

If you are like me and are facing a very busy time in your life, maybe it will benefit you to work on mini goals as opposed to a big life goal.  All you need is a post-it or an electronic device that lets you make a to-do list and you're in business.  Try not to do more than five mini goals.  The idea is to see yourself making progress, not overwhelming yourself if you're unable to finish a giant to-do list.

I hope using mini goals is helpful for you!

Cheerleaders Needed!

Happy Saturday to everyone!  I hope you are enjoying this lovely day and getting ready for a fun three-day weekend!

Today I want to talk about something that is absolutely critical to the success of your goals.  If you don't have this in your life, you are going to have a difficult time living the life of your dreams.  Hopefully you have more than one.

I'm talking about a support person, or a cheerleader.  A cheerleader is someone who knows you well and believes in your dreams while offering a shoulder to lean on when the going gets tough, but is also truthful enough to help you overcome your (known or unknown) weaknesses.

None of us are an island, but so many of us resist sharing our deepest goals and desires with the people who know us best.  Why is that?  Do we think they will laugh in our face?  Shun us for aiming at a ridiculous target?  More often than not, the people closest to us want us to succeed and they may know exactly what to say or do to get us moving in the right direction.

In all of the goal-related books I've read and studied, one of the first steps to take when starting a new goal is to establish a support system.  Whether you meet with someone in person, schedule regular phone meetings, or even post your goal on a social media site, having a support system in place is like laying down the steel skeleton of a building.  It is establishing a rock-solid foundation to build your dreams on. You are making yourself accountable to someone other than yourself.  Without a support system, it's a lot easier to quit when times get difficult.  You can easily talk yourself out of your goals,  but when someone else knows what you're trying to do, they will be able to push you to go the extra mile, even when you don't seem to have the energy left to take another step.

Keep in mind that a support person has your best interests in mind.  If he or she tells you something you don't want to hear, take a moment to examine if there is truth behind it.  If he or she points out that you always say you want to lose ten pounds, but eat three candy bars every day, don't get offended if it's the truth.  Support people are much different than saboteurs, who secretly just want to see you fall flat on your face.  Support people speak the truth in love, even if it's sometimes hard to hear.

Today, can you identify at least one support person in your life?  If not, think about people around you who could be potential cheerleaders for your goals.  I encourage you to contact someone today and be honest about your struggles and successes.  I bet you will come away from the conversation feeling a renewed push to work on your goals.

Before I go, I'd like to give a shout out to one of my biggest cheerleaders, especially right now, and that is my mom.  Even though she lives 800 miles away, she made plans to move in with me and my husband for the next month to help us with our new son, due to arrive today (although I don't think he's coming quite yet).  This week has not been easy for me, but my mom has been here to encourage me.  One of the first things she did after she arrived was paint my toes for me since I can't reach them.  How's that for a support person?  I don't know how I would have made it through this challenging week without her here.  She's been a shoulder for a very emotional pregnant person to cry on all week long.

I hope you have many support people in your life today, but even if you have just one, reach out to them!  You will be doing yourself a favor.  And, while you're at it, think about the people in your life who might need cheerleaders of their own.  Who can you provide support for today?

I leave you with this Scripture:

"As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend." -Proverbs 27:17

Almost to the Finish Line, Part 2

Yesterday after I had posted "Almost to the Finish Line", I was doing my daily devotional and happened across one of my favorite Scriptures.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."  -Galatians 6:9 (NIV)

Another version of the Bible says, "don't become weary in well-doing because in DUE season, we will reap a harvest..."

How cool is that?  The message of this verse is simple.  If you're working towards a goal that will bring you good, don't give up because at the right time, you will see your harvest or the benefits of your work.

What can you do to work on your goals today?  Keep pressing towards them and you are sure to reap a harvest in due time.

Happy Tuesday.

Almost to the Finish Line

As of this week, I am 38 weeks pregnant and considered for all intents and purposes, full-term.  Won't you be glad when I have this baby and can stop talking about pregnancy?  It's just that I have found so many parallels from pregnancy to other aspects of life, such as goal-setting.  One of which I would like to share with you today.

You might say that I am 90-95% done with being pregnant.  Now that's a ridiculous statement, because the only time I can quit being pregnant is once my body is no longer carrying a child.  But I have basically made it through that much of the pregnancy process.  After having several days of feeling like nothing is happening in regard to the birthing process, I'm ready to be done!  Obviously, there's only one way this can end and that's in my giving birth to my son, but if I could quit now, I might consider it! Thankfully, that's not an option.  I will be glad when I have reached the 100% mark and can see, smell, hear, and hold the literal fruit of my labor!

So often with my goals, I start out strong.  I am determined and ready to see them through to completion.  I race through the 20% and 30% marks, making great learning gains along the way as I pick up momentum.  I soar through the half-way point and realize that I'm half-way done!  75% comes and goes.  Then 80%...Then 85%... Then I reach 90%.  And this is where my struggle often begins.

As opposed to realizing that I'm so much closer to the 100% mark than anywhere else, my enthusiasm begins to wane.  Maybe another project is vying for my attention or I'm just plain tired.  In any case, I have noticed that when it comes to my goals, I have no problem seeing them through to about 90%.  And then I just quit.  Sometimes for months; oftentimes for years.

Just because I can see the finish line up ahead doesn't mean I've passed it.  I have to ask myself how many rewards I've missed out on simply because I quit at the 90% mark.  10% is not that far!  Even if I have to grit my teeth, suck in my stomach, and claw my way to the quitting point, the end goal is worth taking the time to complete it.

Do you have any goals that you set for yourself that are this close to completion, but you're feeling the strong urge to quit?  Maybe you've lost 40 pounds, but have 5 more to go.  Maybe you've set a business sales goal that you've come 90% of the way to meeting.  This is the point where it's easiest to give in.  You might think, "Ninety percent is good enough.  Look how far I've come!"  And you would be correct.  But how amazing would it feel to cross the finish line?  To be able to say, "I did it"?

Today my challenge to you is to stay the course.  If you are almost finished with any small or big goal, do whatever you have to do to make it to the 100% mark. Even if that means telling your inner critic that "good enough" is not good enough for you.  

In being pregnant, I've reflected a lot lately on the legacy that I want to leave.  I want my son to know that his mom was and is a woman who finishes what she starts-- each time, every time.

Establishing a Reward System

At the risk of this post sounding very Pavlovian, it's so important when you're working towards any goal, big or small, that you have a reward system in place.

I came to this conclusion last year as I was trying to lose about ten vanity pounds.  I realized that being ten pounds lighter at the end of the process wasn't enough of a motivator for me.  I needed small rewards along the way that would give me that extra edge on the tough days.  So after every two pounds lost, I promised myself small rewards of new workout clothing, a book I'd been wanting to purchase, and a date night with my husband.  Then, my ultimate reward when I met the goal was to talk to my husband about having a baby.  Talk about a great motivator!

Well, being that I'm weeks away from giving birth, we all know how that discussion went!  I didn't quite reach my ten pound goal, but I found out I was pregnant right when I was at an optimal weight for myself.  And I'm not sure I would have been there if it weren't for the reward system I had in place.

You know the saying, "Life isn't about the destination; it's about the journey".  I think this speaks directly for our need to have a rewards system as we're working towards major life accomplishments.  Even if your goal is so motivating, thinking about achieving it makes you want to dance around the room, at some point you are going to get tired.  You are going to get frustrated and question whether or not you've made any progress.   And it's at this key time where if you have a reward in place, you will find the extra push to keep going.

So, today, as you are looking at your goal, think of a way to intermittently reward yourself.  The above rewards are all things that motivate me.  Your list might look very different, but the point is, the rewards have to be appealing to you.  Otherwise they won't motivate you at all.

On paper, make a list that looks something like this:

My Current Goal: ___________________________

Time Frame to Accomplish: ____________________

My Top 5 Rewards:

___________________________

___________________________

___________________________

___________________________

___________________________

Your rewards do not have to be equal in value to you, but it is important that you put the bigger rewards closer to your ultimate goal.  Once you've established your Top Five rewards, all you need to do is space them out as evenly as possible from now until your goal deadline.  

Then, do something today, even if it is small, that gets you working on your goal.  As soon as you meet a reward, don't delay yourself the pleasure of having it.  Have the ice cream, read the novel.  Go on a beach excursion.  Whatever it is... make sure you do it!  The key is to accomplish our goals while enjoying life at the same time.  If we were only supposed to enjoy the destination, the rest of life would be pretty dull, don't your think?  

I invite you today to enjoy the journey!  Reward yourself and see if you aren't that much closer to accomplishing the life of your dreams!