Lower Your Expectations

This post might come as a surprise to you.  After all, here is the woman who is always spouting off ways to reach your goals, suddenly telling you to lower your expectations.  Don't the two contradict each other?  I say no.  Here's why:

Sometimes in goal setting, there is too much going on at one time.  You might know this as multitasking.  And studies are showing that multitasking doesn't work so well.  If you are trying to do everything at once, it's hard to do any one thing well.  You might halfway finish a bunch of things, but they're still only halfway finished, which is not really finished at all.

Since becoming a mom, I have resigned myself to the fact of life that I'm not going to accomplish the same amount of stuff that I used to be able to in a day.  My typical day goes something like this: wake up, feed baby, get ready for work, work, pick up baby, feed baby, put baby down for nap, shovel lunch while baby is sleeping, feed baby, put baby down for afternoon nap, shower, feed baby, make dinner, entertain baby, feed baby, get baby ready for bed, finish whatever I can once baby goes down for the night.  Right now, "baby" rules my to do list.  He comes first.  And that's ok.  But somewhere in that time frame,  I have to do other things like fold laundry, wrap Christmas gifts, and of course, empty the dishwasher.

Enter my new motto: "Lower Your Expectations".  Yes, I still have goals that I want to accomplish.  But, I am choosing to pare down my to-do list to one or two things that I can get done in a day.  The rest will have to wait for now.

As a result of this new motto, I am still accomplishing things, but at a slower pace while caring for my son full time.  And I feel great about that because I am still finishing my to-do list by the end of the day, but it's just smaller.

Sometimes in our lives, we will simply have to lower our expectations of what we can get done in twenty-four hours.  You may not be taking care of an infant, but maybe you have aging parents to look after.  Maybe you're facing an illness that zaps you of your energy.  Or maybe, you are dealing with none of those things, but simply need to slow down and savor the season.

Do me a favor.  Cut your to-do list down this week.  Even if it's just two items: what can you stand to let go of?  What can you move to next week?  With the time you save, spend it loving on the people in your life.  Drive around just for the sake of looking at Christmas lights in your neighborhood (this is a very relaxing practice for me!).  And then, do the things on your to-do list that are left and feel proud of yourself for still accomplishing your goals, but truly taking the time to slow down.  You and I will all be happier for it!  Yes, I give you permission to lower your expectations!

Something to add to your to-do list: enjoying the holiday lights!  Especially if you had to put them up at your house!

Trying to Do it All (Doesn't Work)!

This post is for those of you out there that attempt to tackle your day with a vengeance.  When your alarm goes off in the morning, you jump out of bed like there is a fire under you and are immediately awake (ok, well maybe it's more like after your second cup of coffee).  You save your to-do lists just so you can admire how much you're able to accomplish in a twenty-four hour period.  You are a type-A, gotta-get-it-done now kind of person.

Just like me! Only that way of life doesn't seem to be working for me anymore.  This week I returned to work.  I am now a part-time teacher and a full-time mom and that means that time to run my household is a precious commodity.  I am lucky if I get a shower and dry my hair by bedtime.

Unfortunately, my personality lends itself to trying to achieve perfection, so if I happen to go to bed with items left on my to-do list, I somehow feel like a failure for the day.  And that's really ridiculous because I am taking care of another human being!  I've never had to do that before, so I need to learn to cut myself some slack!

The point I'm trying to make is that trying to do it all doesn't work and will often leave you more frustrated than if you had chosen a few key tasks to accomplish in a day, week, or month.

Do you ever have so many goals floating through your head that you never make progress on any of them because you're trying to "do it all"?  This happens to me.  I want to publish a book, write a song, drop five pounds, and try out four new recipes-- all in the same month!  It's no surprise when the month comes to an end and I haven't made progress on any of them because I couldn't choose just one to focus my attention on.

Goal-setting and time management experts have a great technique for combating the "do it all or nothing" mentality.  They recommend asking yourself, "If I could only accomplish one thing all day, what thing is most important to get done?"  Then you complete that one thing BEFORE you do anything else (like mindless channel surfing: guilty as charged!).  Only after it's completed, you ask, "If I could only accomplish one other thing all day, what would it be?" This technique allows you to focus on one thing at a time and achieve the most important tasks.  Then you can go to bed at night knowing you handled first things first and didn't waste as much time on unimportant tasks.  

I've recently discovered a cool app called "Balanced".  I have the free version on my phone and it allows me to enter and track five different tasks that need to be accomplished for me to feel balanced.  One of my tasks is to drink 8 oz of water four times a day.  What's cool about the app is that it will remind me when I need to do something.  Then after I've completed the task, I can check it off.  I've really enjoyed the app and how it is helping me put things in perspective.

I hope you will try the above technique if you are struggling with a massive to-do list.  Simply choose your most important tasks and don't do anything else until they are finished.  Then, and only then, can you indulge in mindless channel surfing completely guilt-free!