Cheerleaders Needed!

Happy Saturday to everyone!  I hope you are enjoying this lovely day and getting ready for a fun three-day weekend!

Today I want to talk about something that is absolutely critical to the success of your goals.  If you don't have this in your life, you are going to have a difficult time living the life of your dreams.  Hopefully you have more than one.

I'm talking about a support person, or a cheerleader.  A cheerleader is someone who knows you well and believes in your dreams while offering a shoulder to lean on when the going gets tough, but is also truthful enough to help you overcome your (known or unknown) weaknesses.

None of us are an island, but so many of us resist sharing our deepest goals and desires with the people who know us best.  Why is that?  Do we think they will laugh in our face?  Shun us for aiming at a ridiculous target?  More often than not, the people closest to us want us to succeed and they may know exactly what to say or do to get us moving in the right direction.

In all of the goal-related books I've read and studied, one of the first steps to take when starting a new goal is to establish a support system.  Whether you meet with someone in person, schedule regular phone meetings, or even post your goal on a social media site, having a support system in place is like laying down the steel skeleton of a building.  It is establishing a rock-solid foundation to build your dreams on. You are making yourself accountable to someone other than yourself.  Without a support system, it's a lot easier to quit when times get difficult.  You can easily talk yourself out of your goals,  but when someone else knows what you're trying to do, they will be able to push you to go the extra mile, even when you don't seem to have the energy left to take another step.

Keep in mind that a support person has your best interests in mind.  If he or she tells you something you don't want to hear, take a moment to examine if there is truth behind it.  If he or she points out that you always say you want to lose ten pounds, but eat three candy bars every day, don't get offended if it's the truth.  Support people are much different than saboteurs, who secretly just want to see you fall flat on your face.  Support people speak the truth in love, even if it's sometimes hard to hear.

Today, can you identify at least one support person in your life?  If not, think about people around you who could be potential cheerleaders for your goals.  I encourage you to contact someone today and be honest about your struggles and successes.  I bet you will come away from the conversation feeling a renewed push to work on your goals.

Before I go, I'd like to give a shout out to one of my biggest cheerleaders, especially right now, and that is my mom.  Even though she lives 800 miles away, she made plans to move in with me and my husband for the next month to help us with our new son, due to arrive today (although I don't think he's coming quite yet).  This week has not been easy for me, but my mom has been here to encourage me.  One of the first things she did after she arrived was paint my toes for me since I can't reach them.  How's that for a support person?  I don't know how I would have made it through this challenging week without her here.  She's been a shoulder for a very emotional pregnant person to cry on all week long.

I hope you have many support people in your life today, but even if you have just one, reach out to them!  You will be doing yourself a favor.  And, while you're at it, think about the people in your life who might need cheerleaders of their own.  Who can you provide support for today?

I leave you with this Scripture:

"As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend." -Proverbs 27:17

Almost to the Finish Line, Part 2

Yesterday after I had posted "Almost to the Finish Line", I was doing my daily devotional and happened across one of my favorite Scriptures.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."  -Galatians 6:9 (NIV)

Another version of the Bible says, "don't become weary in well-doing because in DUE season, we will reap a harvest..."

How cool is that?  The message of this verse is simple.  If you're working towards a goal that will bring you good, don't give up because at the right time, you will see your harvest or the benefits of your work.

What can you do to work on your goals today?  Keep pressing towards them and you are sure to reap a harvest in due time.

Happy Tuesday.

Almost to the Finish Line

As of this week, I am 38 weeks pregnant and considered for all intents and purposes, full-term.  Won't you be glad when I have this baby and can stop talking about pregnancy?  It's just that I have found so many parallels from pregnancy to other aspects of life, such as goal-setting.  One of which I would like to share with you today.

You might say that I am 90-95% done with being pregnant.  Now that's a ridiculous statement, because the only time I can quit being pregnant is once my body is no longer carrying a child.  But I have basically made it through that much of the pregnancy process.  After having several days of feeling like nothing is happening in regard to the birthing process, I'm ready to be done!  Obviously, there's only one way this can end and that's in my giving birth to my son, but if I could quit now, I might consider it! Thankfully, that's not an option.  I will be glad when I have reached the 100% mark and can see, smell, hear, and hold the literal fruit of my labor!

So often with my goals, I start out strong.  I am determined and ready to see them through to completion.  I race through the 20% and 30% marks, making great learning gains along the way as I pick up momentum.  I soar through the half-way point and realize that I'm half-way done!  75% comes and goes.  Then 80%...Then 85%... Then I reach 90%.  And this is where my struggle often begins.

As opposed to realizing that I'm so much closer to the 100% mark than anywhere else, my enthusiasm begins to wane.  Maybe another project is vying for my attention or I'm just plain tired.  In any case, I have noticed that when it comes to my goals, I have no problem seeing them through to about 90%.  And then I just quit.  Sometimes for months; oftentimes for years.

Just because I can see the finish line up ahead doesn't mean I've passed it.  I have to ask myself how many rewards I've missed out on simply because I quit at the 90% mark.  10% is not that far!  Even if I have to grit my teeth, suck in my stomach, and claw my way to the quitting point, the end goal is worth taking the time to complete it.

Do you have any goals that you set for yourself that are this close to completion, but you're feeling the strong urge to quit?  Maybe you've lost 40 pounds, but have 5 more to go.  Maybe you've set a business sales goal that you've come 90% of the way to meeting.  This is the point where it's easiest to give in.  You might think, "Ninety percent is good enough.  Look how far I've come!"  And you would be correct.  But how amazing would it feel to cross the finish line?  To be able to say, "I did it"?

Today my challenge to you is to stay the course.  If you are almost finished with any small or big goal, do whatever you have to do to make it to the 100% mark. Even if that means telling your inner critic that "good enough" is not good enough for you.  

In being pregnant, I've reflected a lot lately on the legacy that I want to leave.  I want my son to know that his mom was and is a woman who finishes what she starts-- each time, every time.

Establishing a Reward System

At the risk of this post sounding very Pavlovian, it's so important when you're working towards any goal, big or small, that you have a reward system in place.

I came to this conclusion last year as I was trying to lose about ten vanity pounds.  I realized that being ten pounds lighter at the end of the process wasn't enough of a motivator for me.  I needed small rewards along the way that would give me that extra edge on the tough days.  So after every two pounds lost, I promised myself small rewards of new workout clothing, a book I'd been wanting to purchase, and a date night with my husband.  Then, my ultimate reward when I met the goal was to talk to my husband about having a baby.  Talk about a great motivator!

Well, being that I'm weeks away from giving birth, we all know how that discussion went!  I didn't quite reach my ten pound goal, but I found out I was pregnant right when I was at an optimal weight for myself.  And I'm not sure I would have been there if it weren't for the reward system I had in place.

You know the saying, "Life isn't about the destination; it's about the journey".  I think this speaks directly for our need to have a rewards system as we're working towards major life accomplishments.  Even if your goal is so motivating, thinking about achieving it makes you want to dance around the room, at some point you are going to get tired.  You are going to get frustrated and question whether or not you've made any progress.   And it's at this key time where if you have a reward in place, you will find the extra push to keep going.

So, today, as you are looking at your goal, think of a way to intermittently reward yourself.  The above rewards are all things that motivate me.  Your list might look very different, but the point is, the rewards have to be appealing to you.  Otherwise they won't motivate you at all.

On paper, make a list that looks something like this:

My Current Goal: ___________________________

Time Frame to Accomplish: ____________________

My Top 5 Rewards:

___________________________

___________________________

___________________________

___________________________

___________________________

Your rewards do not have to be equal in value to you, but it is important that you put the bigger rewards closer to your ultimate goal.  Once you've established your Top Five rewards, all you need to do is space them out as evenly as possible from now until your goal deadline.  

Then, do something today, even if it is small, that gets you working on your goal.  As soon as you meet a reward, don't delay yourself the pleasure of having it.  Have the ice cream, read the novel.  Go on a beach excursion.  Whatever it is... make sure you do it!  The key is to accomplish our goals while enjoying life at the same time.  If we were only supposed to enjoy the destination, the rest of life would be pretty dull, don't your think?  

I invite you today to enjoy the journey!  Reward yourself and see if you aren't that much closer to accomplishing the life of your dreams!

Get Uncomfortable!

This coming Saturday, I will officially enter my ninth month of pregnancy!

I am here to say, I am uncomfortable!  For those of you who don't know me personally, picture a five foot nothing, petite woman carrying an extra twenty-five pounds, most of it in my stomach (or just see the picture below).  My doctor tells me my son is going to grow.  I look down at my already bulging belly and think "where?"  My son has already taken up space in my ribs where he loves to kick me at nighttime, just as I'm trying to wind down.

Ask my husband how many nights I've already spent tossing and turning, hour after hour.  About a week ago, he came home with some Tylenol PM and basically stated for the sake of our marriage, I needed to take it!  He's tired of not sleeping either.

The good news is that at the end of this period of being uncomfortable, shortly after I get really uncomfortable in labor and delivery, there will be a baby in my arms that makes all of the discomfort totally worth it.  Then the sleepless nights and the backaches and the constant visits to the bathroom won't seem all that bad because those uncomfortable things moved me toward something I really wanted in the first place.

If you think about it, being comfortable in life keeps us from changing what needs to be changed.  If something is working for you, even a little, it's way easier to go with the flow than to admit you could aim for something better if you went a different way.  Being comfortable sometimes keeps us from experiencing the growth we so desperately need.

Is there an area in your life that you know needs improvement, but feels too hard to change?  I bet there is one little step you can take to get yourself just slightly uncomfortable.  Try it.  Then, after you've kicked fear in the face or simply smacked it around a little, take another step outside the comfort zone.  Keep taking tiny tip-toe steps until you've gradually left the trail of Easy Street and begun to forge your own path. If you get uncomfortable, you know you're on the right track because you've become your own catalyst of change.

Being uncomfortable is not fun in the moment, but it always hints at something better to come around the corner!

(Here I am, at almost nine months pregnant, feeling uncomfortable.  But I know, he is all worth it!  Can't wait to meet my son very soon!)

Where Are the Dreamers?

Where are the dreamers?

For several days, it's been on my mind that so many people have lost the ability to dream about what could be and about who they could be.  It gets me fired up.  Makes me mad even, because there are shells of people walking around who are literally using 5% of their potential.

Without going into detail, I have some people close to me who are simply existing every day.  They have lost their ability to envision a bright future for themselves.  They have no goals, no drive, and no energy.  And so they wait around, day after day, which brings them closer to death, without ever having truly experienced life.

At one time, these people had incredible potential.  But somewhere along the way, they lost the vision for their lives.  They stopped envisioning the future because they needed to "just make it" through the present.

I believe that the mundane day in and day out is what keeps so many of us from dreaming.  We get too comfortable with our lives right now and fail to exercise any tunnel vision for the future.

What if you have stopped dreaming and become content to simply exist?  Know that you are not alone and that there is hope!  When was the last time you sat down and thought about your life?  Are you happy with where you are?  Is it where you want to be five years down the road?

In order to become a dreamer again, you must become very clear about what you want.  Even if your brain is screaming at you, telling you that you'll never be a _______ (painter, chef, architect, business owner, mother, etc.), if the dream feels authentic deep, deep down in your soul, it is probably meant to be!

Challenge: Take ten minutes today for yourself to dream.  On a blank sheet of paper, write down the following questions and then answer them as honestly as possible:

Have I forgotten how to dream?  If so, why?

Where would I like to see myself a year from now?

Where would I like to see myself five years from now?

Where would I like to see myself ten years from now?

What kind of a legacy do I want to leave when I pass on?

If you take the time to answer these questions, even a dreamer that has been dormant for years can begin to come awake inside!  Don't be surprised if you have more energy than you've had in a long time!  You're finally dreaming again, and that, my friend, is a very good step in the right direction!

Why Use Deadlines?

When I first started this blog, I talked about the difference between dreams and goals.  Goals are simply dreams with legs on them.  That is, goals are not so vague as dreams, but are meant to be accomplished within a certain period of time.

For instance, maybe you have a dream of becoming a millionaire.  That's a wonderful dream to aspire to, but it's very undefined.  How will you know when you're successful?  Does "millionaire" mean one million to you or one hundred million?  Do you want to be thirty-five or sixty-five by the time it happens?

A goal helps you clearly define your ideas to change a dream into a series of measurable steps that will eventually get you where you want to be.

One of the easiest and surefire ways to measure your success towards a goal is by setting a deadline.  I know, I know, deadlines sound so final, but they really are so important in helping you progress towards success.  And they really aren't as final as they sound.  What happens if you don't make a self-imposed deadline?  Well, unless you're dead, you can always set a new deadline and start again, or rather continue on the journey you've already started.  And you are that much closer to meeting your goal.

Deadlines give us the kick in the butt that we need to take action!  It's a little harder to lounge on the couch eating potato chips if you have a looming deadline for your first half-marathon coming up in a month, right?

Last week, I told you that my most pressing goal of the summer is to finish editing my eBook and self-publish.  I have a natural deadline built in to have this completed by the time my son is born in a month or so.  Let me tell you, since posting that goal and deadline, I have been working on my book!  In fact, I am editing the last chapter tomorrow!  In this case, having a deadline and staying accountable to my blogging community is really helping me get closer to seeing this goal come to pass.

Do you have a goal with an undefined deadline?  Why not take a moment and pull out your calendar and set a "finish line"?  Then you can work backwards from the completed goal to where to are right this moment and outline a series of steps to get you there.  I promise, if you miss your deadline, no one will be waiting to slap your hand.  But you will probably be a lot closer to achieving your goal than before when you had no defined "end time".

We're all in this together!  Keep setting those goals, ladies!